Ready Or Not . . . Here She Comes

            – Ready Or Not . . . Here She Comes

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So there I was, home from that extra energetic concert where not swaying back and forth with every song, along with thousands of other fans, was impossible. (1*) I admit, I might have been a bit crazy going to that concert knowing the due date of my baby was only a few days away. But I’ll be honest. I had to. I was just days away from giving birth and being an unwed mother with at least fifty new things in life I’d have to get use to. Until then, I had to take any opportunity I could to think of just me, myself, and I.

Going to bed that night was the best it had been in weeks. Any comfort laying down in bed was still lacking, sure, but thinking of that amazing concert and all that my best friend and I gabbed about made those aches and pains not as miserable. Difficulty moving around on my bed with my future daughter in my tummy just didn’t irritate me as much. I’m sure my pillow even sensed more enjoyable thoughts I was having that night before it heard me thank God for that evening.

 

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Falling asleep was so much easier than many nights before.

 

 

 

I just wish I could have felt the same way that next morning. Waking up quite a bit earlier than normal, moving around in bed with a lot more uncomfort, I sensed something was up. You’d think I’d just go back to thinking how great the evening before was, but no. What ever that extra odd feeling was took over.

Okay, what’s up? Am I just extra soar from going to the concert? I know, even though it’s only six o’clock, I’ll just get up in a few minutes and eat something. 

Suddenly I learned something. That very minute I finally found out what those three words – your water broke – meant.

To be continued.

1* – click here to read about going to the concert. 

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

 

 

 

My Pregnancy Story Continues

      – My Pregnancy Story Continues –

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One of my past posts showed a small portion of an extra special journal writing I did  thirty-three years ago. Click here to read because what’s below is what directly came next on that page. My book, God and Your Pillow, is available now that covers my entire story behind me and that journal.  

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Journal Time. Yep, it’s time to share more of my journal and what was going from my heart to the paper at this time in my pregnancy. I wish I hadn’t allowed there to be a huge gap between writings. You need to know that . . . oh, my journal will tell you. See if you can notice a few things I leave out.

                                                                                                January 2, 1987

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Okay, let’s see. A lot has gone on since I last wrote over a year ago. April of ‘86 I drove down to Santa Maria, CA and lived with Debbie for three months, worked at the Hilton Hotel in room service. On my return home I was faced with my niece’s tumor and seeing her die. She died in September. So sad.

In the mean time God showed me the direction my life was to take. He gave me a baby. As of this writing, I am seven-and-a-half months along in my pregnancy. Things are fine as long as Jesus is close by. If it wasn’t for His will for my life, I’d go crazy! I’m making it through use fine. Praise God.

I’m sort of surprised I didn’t write for almost two years. What? Quick update: I started my journal when I was twelve. Every day for a while, then every other day, then every other week, then every other month, then maybe half a year and, at this point, a few years’ break. You mean I didn’t write at all during this entire time?  . . . Oh, and the space shuttle blew up since I last wrote. It’s been a very tough year.

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I’m still surprised I didn’t write in my journal once during that entire ordeal. One reason must be because all the pens in my room, heck, in the entire house for that matter, would not have had enough ink to put my overflowing thoughts down on paper.

But finally, as more peace was growing inside my heart, along with this baby growing inside my tummy, the more I was sensing that strong arm of God carrying us both. I could have been storing up all the negative this-and-thats that were here-and-there, but I didn’t. God helped keep the thoughts flowing to do what I felt was right as I kept prayer wrapped around it all as best I could. I knew whatever circumstances I faced didn’t have the power to dictate my attitude unless I let them. Now sure, towards the beginning I did allow negative thoughts to dictate my attitude. I’m ever-so thankful to this day that God saw fit to use my family, friends, my church, my bible, and yes, even my doctor (1*) to allow positive thoughts to dictate my attitude.

When life gets hard, it’s difficult to avoid letting a bad attitude rule our life and take over our mind. It’s true, life can sure stink sometimes when people hurt us, the past haunts us, those we work with mistreat us, family or friends don’t love us, spouses don’t honor us, children don’t appreciate or respect us, finances don’t support us, and our health doesn’t sustain us.

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Yep, enduring problems never really seen to be absent.  They make pure joy in our hearts difficult. But trying to hold at least a little smile not only helps us become stronger believers, it opens the door for an attitude transformation. Those of you reading, just keep in mind that when our heart, soul, and mind focus on the good that seems to be hiding, our attitudes will get better. The good is then easier to find, our attitudes improve even more, causing good things to seem to be showing up all over the place.

Just keep in mind that the only thing we have to lose, by choosing a positive attitude, is a negative one. And one of the many good things you just might gain by choosing a positive attitude is . . .

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. . . realizing you just might feel like sharing what’s been going on in your life in your journal.

 

 

 

1* – Click here to read how God spoiled me with my doctor. 

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How I Picture That Word ‘Pregnant’

             – How I Picture That Word ‘Pregnant’ –  

 

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‘Pregnant’ – As soon as I hear that word, I instantly picture someone’s tummy sticking out. I then think of the discomfort that goes along with that tummy sticking out. Next, I think of my first pregnancy thirty years ago and how it still seems like last week. Before that thought is even over, ‘Thank you, Lord’ comes next, since He held me though my first pregnancy’s soap opera. (1*)

As I shared in past writings, my pregnancy was physically going smoothly. That sure helped me carry comfort and peace inside my heart during those confusing months. (read a few examples here 2* –  3* of past writings)

But my pillow felt the extra mental weight of my worries night after night. And I’m not talking about worries of the delivery. (Believe me, those came a few months later.) I’m talking about the worries of what life would hold for me in the near future as a mom. Doubt, uncertainty, regret, and uneasiness, along with many questions. Continue college? When? Do I need to work? Government help? Babysitters? Can I ever move out?

‘What if’ questions were super-glued to my thoughts as well. What if people don’t want to be around me? What if there’s no Mr. Right on the horizon? What if all I get is some boring minimum-wage job? And, of course, losing weight was sure ‘heavy’ on my mind as well.

Another worry was what people would think of me: a nineteen-year-old mom, living with her parents, no job, and with no real plan to do anything. I thought I was to be an example to the world around me. So I’m sure you can see how this cloud over my life seemed like it was getting noticeably darker as time went by.

I knew I was forgiven for that sin of letting my hormones take over months before, but I still had guilt I could not hide. It made these types of verses far from being encouraging.

Proverbs 3:11 – My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction (NKJV)

Deuteronomy 8:5You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.  (NKJV)

Sure, I knew no Christ-follower is given an easy life, and I knew my pregnancy thus far was going by smoothly, but I occasionally wanted to give up, wishing I could just wake up one morning and realize all this was just a dream. 

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I kept thinking, God did not want me to see any light at the end of this long tunnel.

 

 

 

 

Are you like I was, with similar thoughts running through your mind? Any trial you’re having or have had that brought extra-heavy thoughts on your pillow? If so, let me give you a speck of hope. In my next writing I’ll share what kept me going, hoping it might help you keep on keeping on. Until then, here’s a piece from a book called Ignore Everybody by Hugh Macleod that I feel fits perfectly here.

Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb. 

To be continued

1* – One of many posts that explain why it was my soap-opera

2*   and  3*  –  two of many positive times of my pregnancy

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 4)

            Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 4)

 

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Have you ever gone though an extra tough time in your life while at the same time sensing a few extra nice things taking place as well? That’s what was happening to me years ago. I realized later that each situation was a peace of a puzzle God was slowing but perfectly putting together. He wanted me to see that each piece was formed by Him, made to fit picture perfect together. I’ve been sharing a few of those pieces with you lately, showing what had taken place during my unplanned pregnancy at the tender age of nineteen. ( 1*2* 3* )

Of course I could share week after week every piece by piece of that puzzle but, thankfully, it would take forever to finish. But I can’t help but share one or two more, knowing my soon to be published book, God and Your Pillow, will show the rest. 

I’ll use an excerpt from my book to show another piece of that puzzle.

One week now until Greg would fly up from California. One week left to pretend there was no huge change about to happen in my life. An entire week to enjoy me, myself, and I. No one I had to hang around with. No one I had to force myself to be comfortable around. Only me, my pillow, and, of course, this child I was carrying. God was so helpful even in that area. No morning sickness at all. Yep. I repeat, no morning sickness. Sure, an occasional slightly nauseous feeling, but nothing like I had been warned about. Well, maybe once. I’ll never forget the one—I repeat—one time I did throw up. It was late in the afternoon after eating a can of fruit I was craving. Peaches, to be exact.

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Obviously I didn’t crave them anymore after that—how shall I say it?—quaint time leaning over the sink, letting those peaches pop back out. Seeing canned peaches in stores now always brings back that memory.

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Shall I assume the words ‘NOT FARE’ are going through a majority of those who have experienced a pregnancy?  Finding anyone who only had one almost-morning sickness is hard to come by. I’m sure not complaining I was one of those few. That entire pregnancy was nothing close to what I was warned it could be like. I guess God just knew I couldn’t deal with everything like that while smack in the middle of a heart wrenching soap opera.

Next week’s story ties in with this weeks, showing how God used even food as a tool to show He was with me. Did you have any common unpleasant expectation you thought you’d have to endure that God spared you from? I’m curious what it is! Please oh please, share 🙂  

Next week you’ll  find out why only one certain Starbucks sign I occasionally see makes me giggle inside.

1*  –  2*   –  3*   – Click to read the other signs God showed He was holding me.

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, mariannesmemoirs.com.

 

 

My Book, a Song, God’s Timing & You

                 – My Book, a Song, God’s Timing & You –

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Have you ever had one huge thought rolling in your mind while driving, and right then and there a perfect song starts to play? That happened to me a few years back. My thought? I was close to being done with my book’s first draft, and being I love music, I wanted to put a song at the end that would somehow help describe my story.

“What song should I put in? This won’t be easy to choose.”

There I was, driving with a Christian radio station playing as those thoughts were rolling right along. All of a sudden – “Oh, I’ve never heard this song before.” After the first verse I was glued.
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“This song’s a must! It fits perfectly with my story,” I thought as more verses went by and a few tears began. Tears didn’t form because I felt I found a song, but how each word described me to the ‘T’ in how I felt during my pregnancy. (I sure was glad no one else was in the car.) God’s timing was perfect for that song to play. To this day I, more often than not, think of that song when ever I’m on that street.

As soon as I got home I went to my computer and downloaded that song.

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While hearing it at least ten times, deciding that song tied for first place on my favorite song list, I found the lyrics and began typing those words in my book.

I’ve mentioned my book, a song, and God’s timing. It’s time now to bring up the last: You.

As you listen to this song, think about you. If you feel at all like giving up on some tough ordeal you’re going through, if you see no end in sight, and have done all that you can, then think about what this song is saying. If you find yourself on your knees and feel far away from God, you best remember He’s right there. You’re not along. Stop holding on, and, like the song says, just be held.

 

 

As my last post shared, my book is available now to share my tougher than normal trial of an unplanned pregnancy. If you, or you know anyone going through one themselves, then pass word along to them of my book, God and Your Pillow. It’s to encourage, letting them know that they are not along.

Note – I realized later that I did not have the legal okay to show the words from that song in my book. If I was determined to wait forever and a day, then maybe. But for now, I just described a bit about the song and how it fits in with my story.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.