Songs

Granted – Song #16

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Do you have a dream, a hope, or a wish you desire to see on that road ahead? Have things happened in the past that have kept you from that dream, hope, or wish. Well . . . Don’t let it.

It’s a bit harder for me to accomplish many things being my illness from years past is still there to blame today. If you only knew how it has held me back from things I still wish I could do. The words in this song have reminded me to keep chasing after my dreams, hopes and wishes. May it help do the same for you.

I’ve had a dream for years, and that dream came true which encourages me to go after my next dream.

Every word should be molded on everyones heart. There are a few words, however, I would include.

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The story’s yours, go write it . . . with God as your pen.

So what’s your dream? You share yours and I’ll share mine.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Book · Illness - Encephalitis

The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded Up (Part 3)

           – The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded Up (Part 3) –

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Did you ever predict you would learn something but didn’t know what the lesson might be? That was me a few years back. After a few tougher-than-normal trials had taken place, and a few years went by, I grasped the fact that I would learn something from them, but just wasn’t sure what. Here, let me explain.

As my last two posts shared, (1*2*) two somewhat life-changing ordeals had my thoughts of thankfulness all folded up and tossed in the back pocket of my jeans. (Pictorially speaking, of course.) But God guided me to understand that He was writing the story and had bigger plans I couldn’t yet see.

As years went by, I took a few verses to heart:

Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

So, I waited . . . and waited . . . and yes, waited, as our family of four turned into a family of six. I had shared my unplanned pregnancy and illness story with many by this time. As each year passed, comments of “You should let others know about what God did for you” kept popping up. Slowly but surely, the question of why I’m thankful for these trials was beginning to get answered.

First, my pregnancy. An older post shares how different comments and requests to share my pregnancy were God’s way to get that story in writing; thus my book, God and My Pillow. (3*) Helping others going through that same ordeal is now a must, knowing God’s been encouraging me from the start.

Second, my illness. In another older post (4*) I shared about connecting with that encephalitic support website, meeting others who had gone through the same type of illness. I wound up encouraging others who were recently hit with similar brain damage. They needed to hear from one who had experienced what they were, at the time, dealing with. A book is now in the making to cover that, in hopes of encouraging those, showing how God held me and how He can hold them as well.

Hearing others tell me how helpful these efforts have been has caused me, in a way, to be almost thankful for these two events. I appreciate so much more now, knowing that if you never experienced pain, sorrow, and hurt, you would never recognize good health, the simple joys in life, and just how precious having Christ by your side can be.  

Most people have had their share of hard times and I’m certain they are far from over. But instead of being sad, frustrated, and/or angry about them, I hope my stories help others pull that little piece of paper with the word ‘thankful’ on it out of their own back pocket. 

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Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.
Book · Illness - Encephalitis

The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded Up (Part 2)

             – The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded up (Part 2) –

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In my last post, (1*) I wrote about the word ‘thankful’ and how that word didn’t fit too well inside my heart as I underwent my two extremely tough afflictions. (2* & 3*) No one found me relaxed on a recliner, smiling ear to ear while thinking, “I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so thankful God is having me go through this incredibly tough time.” Nope. Thankfulness was tightly folded up and hiding in the back pocket of my jeans.

After each ordeal took place, however, my mind knew God was in charge. I began realizing more and more that as things were getting better, I was actually thinking of pulling that Thankful sign out of my jeans and putting it on the table, but of course still folded up. As more positive things began to appear through each ordeal, I actually unfolded that paper. Sensing God’s help via family, friends, doctors, and the like, I finally decided to unfold the paper and read it each time I walked by. More thankful thoughts were growing in size and frequency. I finally got a magnet and —drumroll, please— stuck that Thankful sign up on my refrigerator!

I wasn’t becoming thankful I was pregnant, or for my month-long stay at a hospital. Not yet anyway. Thankfulness was there for feeling Christ was supporting me, caring for me, and letting me know He wasn’t just King, but my Father.

I was growing in the understanding that God is the One who puts us through what comes our way, good or bad. I was on the road that was planned by Him, whether smooth and serene, or unpaved, or one filled with countless sinkholes. I still felt a bit shattered and broken, not able to do what I had planned in life. But what sure helped was finally understanding that God’s plans are perfect, and that He was going to use me somehow, some way. 

Peace was growing inside as each year went by, and a few verses began to stand out.

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Isaiah 55:8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. 

This song shows what I began to slowly feel as time went by, using words such as…

– With my very next step – be on the road that was planned by you

– Lord, wherever you’re leading me – that’s where I want to be

Even though I did not know which direction that path was going, thankfulness, tied with peace, permanently got pinned to my heart and I was eager to see how He might use what He put me through to serve Him.

Finally, doors were opening and I began to see what His plans were. 

To be continued.

 

Have you also found the word ‘Thankful’ come out of your back pocket during a tough time? I’d love to hear about it.

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Book · Illness - Encephalitis

The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded UP (Part 1)

         – The Word ‘Thankful’ All Folded Up (Part 1) –

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Time to do something: think. Think of an extra-tough time you’ve gone through. Okay, maybe not the most joy-filled request.

Now, look at the definition of thankful: 

1. Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful – grateful and appreciative

2. of, relating to, or expressing thanks – a thankful feeling – thankful words

Curious why I’m asking you to think of an extra-tough time, as well as defining what thankful means? It’s to help you understand what got me—as years went by—to be closer to being thankful for these two, somewhat life-changing hardships I’d gone through.  (*1) (*2)

Thankfulness. Do I want you to think that from day one I was filled with thankfulness when my teenage pregnancy soap opera started? Or, do I want you to think I was overflowing with thanks a few years later when my brain-damaging encephalitis hit, that had me unable to even understand who God was TO thank? Am I saying that that one question, ‘Why, God?’ was nowhere to be found during both of those times? Of course not. As a matter of fact, if it could have been visible, “Why, God?” would have been bubbled over my head more hours of the day than not. I bet all of you reading this have had that bubble at least once, and that it seemed, at the time, impossible to pop.

God, having saved me when I was eighteen years old, was who I gave most of my thanks to, as most things went by pretty smoothly that first year. This verse fit perfectly:

Ephesians 5:2 – Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,            

 But about a year later . .   download   . . things changed.

I was so young when I was hit with the first of these two trials. Young in age, at nineteen, yes, but I’m mainly talking about young in my Christian life. There had only been one year of God’s word and guidance before that larger-than-life trial unplanned pregnancy occurred, followed by the brain illness only a few years later.

Thankfulness was difficult to detect. It was hard to even find a little drip-drip-drip of thankfulness. Yes, I did sense God’s Fatherly care, but thankfulness as to why I needed that care sure wasn’t standing out. That word ‘thankful’ was folded up at least ten times, put in the back pocket of my jeans in that closet I never wore.

Hearing those common words, ‘God has reasons,’ caused me to think ‘But what are they?’ That question was glued in my thoughts as every day, week, and month I was pregnant went by, and especially after every day, week, and months, even years, after my illness went by.

As time did go by, however, I—how shall I say it—started wearing those jeans tucked in the drawer, sensing something was going on in that back pocket. Something was unfolding.

James 1:12 slowly began making sense.

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To be continued.

1* First trial

2* Second trial

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Book · Extra

What If Many Tell You To Do Something

– What If Many Tell You To Do Something –

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 Has anyone ever said to you, “You should make one” or “You really should do it”? Come on, be honest. Most likely you have heard those words.  And I bet “No. I’m not one to do that” was your answer.  Off-and-on for years I kept hearing, “You should write a book about what happened.”  Each time my response was sweet and simple. “No, I can’t write a book,” and left it at that. As years went by, I then used the excuse, “No. I can’t write. Plus, it happened so long ago.”
But something happened that changed my way of thinking. It started after I found that Encephalitis website sixteen years ago. (1*)  About nine years later I got connected with a certain woman from that website who said she had noticed from my writing that I am a Christian, thus felt comfortable telling me her illness is what God used to show her need for Him. Well, of course I couldn’t help but want to chat regularly with her, telling her more about how God carried me though my illness. We then swapped e-mails and gabbed back and forth a few times each day.
“Hey, Michelle, I have an idea,” I typed after a few weeks went by.  “I can’t really share in one writing how I met my husband, so instead I’ll share a little bit each day.” But that meant I needed to tell her about my unplanned pregnancy first, and so I began.
Imagine writing something short and sweet once a day. Not much detail but just enough to share a point or two of what happened. Then a bit more of your story the next day, then the next. That’s what I was doing. Each day I shared the next very simplified detail of what I went through that I couldn’t leave out. I found myself enjoying typing out what God did for me just as much as when I’d face to face tell my story.
Here, read my journal from September 2008
…We’ve been e-mailing back and forth at least once a day. I’m now putting together a story to show her how God carried me from when I got pregnant and what followed. I love doing this.
After receiving each one, she would e-mail me back saying she loved what I was sharing. Now, keep in mind, they were short and simple. I think liking my writing classes in high school is why I enjoyed putting together a couple new paragraphs every day.
About six or seven days into it, she replied back with, “Marianne, would you mind if I copied those you’ve done so far and give them to a few friends of mine?  They could really use your story.”

You should have seen my face as I read that.

Really? Wow, that’s kinda neat.  “I guess you can, if you think it’ll help.” After she explained a bit about their ordeals, I wanted to write even more. Hmm. I think I’ll put a little more effort into it now.
A few days later, seeing how I was enjoying explaining my story, thinking of good ways to share what God had been doing with me back then, I sort of looked up and thought, Okay, God, are You trying to tell me something?
Two weeks later I wrote:
I’m still e-mailing my story every day and God’s allowing me to feel very useful, and now I’m actually beginning to think all these chapters could go toward a real book. We’ll see. It makes me now want to read what I wrote in my older journal. Should be interesting.
And it’s there I took off in praying, writing, praying and writing. 

So, time for a toast.

To my dear friend Michelle, who was the inspiration behind my book.       

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           ! CHEERS !        

But, more importantly, I end by thanking God for using Michelle as His final tool in getting me to write God and My Pillow

1*- click here on how I found the best website support group in the world.  

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, mariannesmemoirs.com.

Illness - Encephalitis

God, a Stranger and Tears (Part 2)

   – God, a Stranger, and Tears (Part 2) –

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I mentioned in my last blog how getting a surprise can mean a lot. Time to share that getting a surprise can also change a bit of your life. I had received a phone call from a total stranger who heard about my illness and wanted to talk. She wanted to hear how it had affected me, as her daughter had also come down with Encephalitis. (1*)

That was the very first conversation I had ever had with anyone who experienced the serious illness I had gone through. Indeed, one priceless conversation. One piece of information she shared stood out.

“Marianne, you should check out this certain website,” she suggested. “It will get you contact with many others with your illness.”

My mouth dropped. “Really? Others who had what I had?”

I eagerly grabbed a pen and quickly scribbled down that website on the closest piece of paper I could find. After passing our thanks to each other for sharing our stories, I didn’t even blink before typing that website on my computer. I found it!  Encephalitis Global. (www.inspire.com)

I saw titles of different letters from different people. Titles like . . .

– My Hardest Encephalitis Problems

– My Family Doesn’t Understand 

– Who Else Is Feeling Alone?

– Five Years Since I got Hit With Encephalitis

The list went on and on. After clicking the first one, I couldn’t believe what I was reading.

This person knows exactly what it’s like!  (I bet I even said that out loud.) Then I checked another person’s title. I can relate to his problems, too!

Time to fit in that saying “died and gone to heaven,” because I felt like I had.                   My computer had just become my new best friend.

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Slowly, my eyes were getting damp. I read more. Tears were accumulating.

Tears of joy, yet tears of sorrow. I guess those ten years of loneliness had piled up inside and it was time to pour them all out. Now sure, I did have my dear husband, children, plus family and friends, but my heart still ached inside feeling alone, so having found people who could understand caused me to let loose many tears.

Soon, however, tears of joy took over. People understand! I’M NO ALONE!

“I understand how you feel,” I replied to at least ten different people. I can’t even begin to describe how great it felt sharing parts of my story to people who understood. I felt even better when, only a few minutes later, someone replied back.

I’m talking to someone who knows what it’s like! They understand me, I understand them, and we can chat back and forth!  That website became my new companion, and I checked it out a few times every day. It felt like God was telling me, “Marianne, I know what I’ve planned for you can be tough, but I’m still with you. I love giving you surprises.”

Now, years later, I’m still connected to that website and can’t even begin to explain what a treasure it’s been reading and relating with many, even having few of those now as dear friends. 

Let me share one simple fact I learned as time went by after that call. God wants us to pray for and, when possible, comfort those in need. 

II Corinthians 1:3b-4 says – God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

At the beginning, the website helped and encouraged me immensely, talking with others who have gone through what I had gone through. Well, with years behind me, I now use it as my opportunity to encourage others. I’ve even Skyped and talked over the phone with a few, watching or listening to some shedding a few tears while giving them my ear.  I savored their thank-you e-mail letters they later sent.

About six years ago, an opportunity arrived for a few of us to begin an annual lunch gathering for those in the Northwest. Worth the drive each year, indeed.

E GROUP

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this summer, a yearly encephalitis conference will be in my Seattle area for the first time. I am ever-so thankful I can help put it together.

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I’ll end here saying how I’m not in my own little world anymore, and God still hears my many thanks.

Question – Should you ask yourself if you can reach out to any who may be going through something you’ve experienced?  Believe me, it feels great if you do. Just keep in mind what Christ says in Luke 6:31 – Do to others as you would have them do to you.

I’d love it if you could pass me a note if you’ve used your rough road you’ve been on to help others.