First Night at Home as a New Mom

~ I may have had my first night as a mom at the hospital, but that didn’t count. My first REAL night as a mother was that next night. Read more to find out what made it so different.

My first day and night as a mom in the hospital where I had my first child in 1987 was nothing like the next night at home. Not only was I feeling rather odd as a brand new nineteen-year-old mother, but the first night at home stood out more than all other nights from then on. My book explains best what made that first night at home like no other night.

Chapter 12 – First Times
I’m sure if that night in 1987 was now, I would have taken a selfie of me holding my adorable daughter. But more so I’d have gotten in bed, grabbed my laptop, opened up Google, and typed in ‘Peace as a new mom’ or ‘Parenting skills’ or, better yet, ‘How is a nineteen-year-old supposed to be a good mom?’ But no. No laptops or iPhones then. Only my pillow, darkness, and my thoughts. I knew many little this-and-that’s from reading I had done, plus info others had shared with me at home or at church. But that night all I could do was think and pray. Thank you so much, Lord, for Cassie. But please help me know what I’m doing.

I don’t remember what my last thoughts were that first night as a mom, but at last, with God’s help, I managed to fall asleep. Not for long, though. I woke up a bit disoriented after hearing some sound I’d never heard before. I think even my pillow was confused.


Wha . . . what’s tha . . . what’s that sound? Oh! THAT sound! Cassie! Oh, great. I need to feed her.
My hungry daughter. The night before in the hospital had been totally different than this one at home. This new sound was foreign. They spoiled me at the hospital, making sure I could rest, so I didn’t get a real taste of what it would be like to be awakened for feedings. That night I knew.

I’m sure not used to this type of thinking in the middle of the night. I’m sure my pillow had its thoughts on all this newness going on as well. It had to adjust to me moving it around a bit so I could get comfortable, correctly holding the newest member of the family.

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I’ll never forget that night. I’ll never forget how that unfamiliar cry sounded. I’ll never forget when I realized that sound was the official proof I was a mother. My first time getting up out of my bed to pick up this little baby. First time trying to nurse with the world all around still sleeping.

Not easy.

But after all the adjusting back in my bed, lights out, nursing the best as I could while holding and gazing at my daughter, something comforting took place; I realized something. It was something I felt God had me picture. Once I was awake enough to think straight that first night home after the tough unplanned teenage pregnancy, I felt God was right there holding this little new family.


Marianne Petersen’s book God and My Pillow is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. 
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