~ Last week’s blog ended with ‘To be continued’. Time now to continue reading part of my journal that explains what turned my life around.
Last week, I shared from my journal a few secret questions I had my senior year in high school.
May 14, 1985 – (Just turned 18 yrs old)
Do I depend on finding love too much? God will reward me but when? What’s the Answer? I shall write again. Maybe when my questions are answered.
Bye-bye until tomorrow.
Now read what I wrote next after almost two years.
January 2, 1987 – (20 yrs old)
How to even begin explaining the past year and a half. The best way to explain is that I got the answer to my last journal-writing’s many questions.
– time now to continue –
I am a new creature and will be rocking for Jesus for all eternity! My two best friends aren’t so ‘religious’ to me anymore. We are all Sisters-In-Christ now! Being Nineteen years old, I now can grab a hold of God while leaving the world and my hunt for love behind.
Yep – My hunt for love from the world had ended because God showed me that the most important love I could ever find was love from Him. I didn’t even have to hunt for His perfect, Father-like love. He gave it to me!
He felt best to have me at a Christian’s retreat when He planned to, quote, ‘Open My Eyes’. It would take forever to explain all I was feeling when He let me know I was one of His chosen. Being one of His not only meant true peace inside, but required responsible actions along with feeling my need for Him. I realized that day how He had been on the back burner of my heart for so many years. But realizing what sin really was had me plead for forgiveness even more, I decide to put Him on that front burner on high.
Here is a bit from my book where I explain how I felt as I left that retreat.
As the group that had arrived there together began to drive away that last day, I looked back at the campground. It’s time I say goodbye to you, old self. I’m now my new me, very thankful to be on this new road ahead with Christ right by my side. I came home not Marianne TV-Someone-Someday Houstoun, but as a peace-filled Marianne New-Child-of-God Houstoun
When I wrote my story, this song came to mind. Listen and you’ll find some of the words you just read.
Time now I try to answer that question – Why keep a journal?
By keeping a journal, you get personal freedom to express those thoughts only you understand. You sort of re-live the events you experienced in a safe environment where you can process them without fear or stress.
I started mine when I was twelve, and love to occasionally pull them out, remembering all the different ways God was with me before and after that life changing retreat.
If you already have a journal, keep it going. I’m so glad to have mine still going about 40 years. But what if you haven’t? Well, it’s never too late.
2 Corinthians 5:17 : Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (ESV)