The Place I Went Before Facing Reality
— Before I told the world I was pregnant, I had to go to a certain place. Read to find out where that perfect place was.
In my last post, I shared an important conversation I had that saved a person’s life; my baby’s. But before I went home, I had to be by myself. The ten-minute drive wasn’t enough. I knew exactly where to go before facing reality; the COVE. The Cove is a nearby waterfront I grew up visiting.
Staring out over the water while sitting in my car was a must. I had done this many times before that day, but this time was far different. I was no longer by myself; I had a baby this time. But this visit to the Cove I included someone I felt I needed more than ever; God.
It sure wasn’t my first time praying to God being a year prior He graciously opened up my heart, soal, and mind to Him. Most of my prayers were mostly thanks and asking for guidance in a career. But now, needless to say, by prayer was dramatically different being my look on life ahead had changed.
Yes, I felt great peace inside when I left the Crisis Pregnancy Center, but that didn’t mean I was happy-go-lucky from then on. At the Cove was where me, myself, and I began soaking in the reality that I was pregnant.
Me, pondering what people would think and how I’d be feeling.
Me, a mom?
After forty-five minutes or so, after deeper-than-normal prayer while wiping a few tears, I hoped no one noticed. But suddenly, I saw a guy about my age walking over. The closer he got, I realized I knew him.
Oh, no. Not now. No. Of all the times for this to happen. Please don’t come here.
A guy I graduated with the year before was right there. I rolled my window down.
The ‘Why oh why does he have to come over here?’ thought took over.
“Hi, Marianne!” He said grinning from ear to ear. “How are you? Haven’t seen you since graduation.”
What in the world was I to say? Thankfully, he began gabbing about his great job, his girlfriend, and a few other things that had me thinking he had it made. I made sure I threw in the “Really?, That’s cool,” and “Oh, wow!” but at the same time thinking,
He has it made; I’m pathetic compared to all that.
When finished telling me about his world, he apologized for talking all about himself.
“So, Marianne, what’s up with you?” he asked.
What in the world do I say? Like I’m really gonna say, “Hi, I just found out I’m pregnant after spending a few stupid months in California where I lost my virginity and now I have to decide what to do.”
“Well, since school ended, I…”
God stepped in, sparing me from this discomfort by having his friend interrupt, saying they had to go. Talk about MAJOR relief!
In that instant, the word ‘Bye’ became my most favorite word EVER, and I could now drive home feeling a bit more at peace… but only until I pulled up the drive way.
To be continued.
Let me encourage each and every one of you with my story. As my story continues, you’ll see how it was tough. But, you’ll also see how God put His hand in the entire soap opera at the right place at the right time. Let my book show you more that I can’t include here. I titled it God and My Pillow being those are the two who knew all my thoughts during the entire trial those two carried me through.