Book-God and My Pillow

My Unfinished Fourth-of-July Thought – Part 2

people outside at night watching fire works

  Have you ever had one thought that changed your life? Read one unfinished question that sure changed mine that’s shared in my book ‘God and My Pillow. 

Why is my period a few days late? Hmmm. That couldn’t mean I might be preg. . .

If you have not read that one sentence from my last post, check it out right here to know it’s history.  What’s below shows what followed

That question stopped halfway through the last word—pregnant. My heart began to pound a bit faster. My thoughts continued. No, I can’t. Pregnant? Could I? No. Please, no. I have plans. I have goals. I can’t be pregnant.
I wasn’t only thinking I might be pregnant, but instantly felt that if I was, I’d then be stereotyped as someone who just doesn’t know what she’s doing, and might be looked down upon by many. But I’m a Christian. I can’t. 
Yep, being a Christian made me feel even worse with the possibility. Twenty-million questions were forming as I faked a smile while watching everyone else having fun. 
  

Later, with my head on my pillow, I was miserable, wishing I could just stay still, go to sleep, and wake up from a nightmare. But instead, I was rolling over every few minutes. The thought was driving me crazy. I was shocked at myself for even allowing this possibility to exist. I was lying in bed, my pillow drowning from the overflow of worries.

drawing of woman awake on pillow

         ———————————————————————–

The worry I felt that night placed me in the shoes which, sad to say, many other young ladies go through. But back then, in 1986, I knew few who had. That night, however, made me begin to realize how even God-fearing Christians can mess up, being that I was, at age nineteen, one of them. 

An instant new perspective on life began that Fourth of July.

         So why am I opening up with this story? To share what God did for and to me through this ordeal as He carried me. No easy walk, mind you, but He never let go.

With different trials we all go through, even with all the different ways this Covid-19 is affecting everyone in some way, shape, or form, I want my story to help others realize that clinging to Him can help wipe tears while calming frustration or worry.  

I plan to weekly share bits and pieces of my story in hopes to pass along some encouragement. And if you know anyone who could use some, share my posts with them.
I want to inspire others facing those unfinished thoughts.

God and My Pillow
Marianne’s book – God and My Pillow is now available through Amazon & Barnes & Noble.

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