Why I Wish I Had the Answer to Why

I wish I was one who could say I feel like dancing, smiling ear to ear, as each day goes by. But honestly, as of late, some days I don’t even feel like walking. I’ve been finding myself thinking
‘Are you sure about this, Lord? It sure doesn’t seem what happened to my callorbone six weeks ago exactly fits into a comfortable plan I prefer.’

How I looked those first four weeks

I’ve recently been sharing past blogs about my hospital stay in years past. Why? To share how it’s helped me endure this resent problem, but mostly to show how God held me in the past as He’s holding me now.

I’m still admitting, however, it’s definitely a true trial getting through this current obstacle. I’ve learned this last week that it’s not going to be quick and easy to get my left shoulder and arm back to normal.

We’re talking 3-5 months, not just 5 or 6 weeks like I was originally thinking. Forcing myself to do simple arm, neck, and back workouts is a must to have my left arm and shoulder get back to normal.

Not fun!

But I am impelled to do my best at the physical therapy that begins soon. After all, I am determined to once again put my own hair into a ponytail.

Since a certain song stands out to me as it has in the past, and since it’s been a while since I’ve shared a song, time I pass one now your way. I’ve shared it before, but you’ll hear why I had to once again.

This problem has sure hit me out of no where. Knowing God has reasons has helped, yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have that occasion tear with the word ‘Why’ close by. I then found myself making a list.

“Is this His way to teach me to look at the sidewalk right in front of me more often when I run? Or perhaps He wants to use me as a tool to help others with what I learned through all this. “

“Could it be His way of telling me to kick back a bit? Make more time with others? Do I need to appreciate more mundane things I have to do by having me not be able to do them now? Maybe I need to make time to learn about different things. I have been doing that with this mandatorily free time I’ve been taking lately?”

The list is endless.

This song has once again reminded me to just be held, and concentrate on the cross instead of finding the answer to the ‘Why’. Yes, eventually, you and I will see more reasons why He’s put us through what He has, and yes, perhaps even with a few more tears. But until then, as the song says, just be held. In your suffering there is an intimate relationship with the Lord that often grows stronger than in any other season of your life. Sometimes it’s the hard times that show you are blessed.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

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