All Alone In a Crowd

Sometimes I don’t make sense to myself. I take that back. Quite often I don’t make sense to myself. For instance, one day I can’t wait to be with a crowd of people from church, at some party, and the like. But other times, sorry but I’d rather be by myself.

What is it about crowds and me that sometimes don’t click? My memory problem is what I blame. Let me explain. God saw fit to have me endure a brain damaging illness years ago called Encephalitis  (‘E’ for short) Thankfully I am, I like to say, 90% recovered from it all but that 10% can sure be a pill: remembering names of people, places and things. I like to call it my ‘noun ailment’

Being around others, hearing most all popping up names, places and even sometimes things, I have to do a lot of extra thinking. Including myself in these talks is sure not easy. I give my ‘oh, really?’, my ‘Ya.. I know’, or just give that nodding-head look making it seem like I know all that’s being said. But deep inside I’m often thinking ‘I wish I could remember which person it is they keep talking about.’ or ‘I think that’s the same movie I saw last week. Not sure. I’ll just be quiet.’ 

What makes dealing with all of this bearable after all these years (notice I said bearable, not tearless-able) is knowing God saw it best I went though this back then as He still holds my hand though it now.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses,  (and even in a big crowd) for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

I’ve shared bit’s and pieces of my story on my website but here is a different way to explain it. Click here to read. 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available on (Amazon) – Follow Marianne on Twitter at @mariannesmemoirs and Facebook at @marimemoirs.