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How I Picture That Word ‘Pregnant’

             – How I Picture That Word ‘Pregnant’ –  

 

Pregnant

‘Pregnant’ – As soon as I hear that word, I instantly picture someone’s tummy sticking out. I then think of the discomfort that goes along with that tummy sticking out. Next, I think of my first pregnancy thirty years ago and how it still seems like last week. Before that thought is even over, ‘Thank you, Lord’ comes next, since He held me though my first pregnancy’s soap opera. (1*)

As I shared in past writings, my pregnancy was physically going smoothly. That sure helped me carry comfort and peace inside my heart during those confusing months. (read a few examples here 2* –  3* of past writings)

But my pillow felt the extra mental weight of my worries night after night. And I’m not talking about worries of the delivery. (Believe me, those came a few months later.) I’m talking about the worries of what life would hold for me in the near future as a mom. Doubt, uncertainty, regret, and uneasiness, along with many questions. Continue college? When? Do I need to work? Government help? Babysitters? Can I ever move out?

‘What if’ questions were super-glued to my thoughts as well. What if people don’t want to be around me? What if there’s no Mr. Right on the horizon? What if all I get is some boring minimum-wage job? And, of course, losing weight was sure ‘heavy’ on my mind as well.

Another worry was what people would think of me: a nineteen-year-old mom, living with her parents, no job, and with no real plan to do anything. I thought I was to be an example to the world around me. So I’m sure you can see how this cloud over my life seemed like it was getting noticeably darker as time went by.

I knew I was forgiven for that sin of letting my hormones take over months before, but I still had guilt I could not hide. It made these types of verses far from being encouraging.

Proverbs 3:11 – My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction (NKJV)

Deuteronomy 8:5You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.  (NKJV)

Sure, I knew no Christ-follower is given an easy life, and I knew my pregnancy thus far was going by smoothly, but I occasionally wanted to give up, wishing I could just wake up one morning and realize all this was just a dream. 

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I kept thinking, God did not want me to see any light at the end of this long tunnel.

 

 

 

 

Are you like I was, with similar thoughts running through your mind? Any trial you’re having or have had that brought extra-heavy thoughts on your pillow? If so, let me give you a speck of hope. In my next writing I’ll share what kept me going, hoping it might help you keep on keeping on. Until then, here’s a piece from a book called Ignore Everybody by Hugh Macleod that I feel fits perfectly here.

Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb. 

To be continued

1* – One of many posts that explain why it was my soap-opera

2*   and  3*  –  two of many positive times of my pregnancy

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

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First Time ‘Pregnant’ Goes In My Journal

          – First Time ‘Pregnant’ Goes In My Journal –

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As some of you know, I have a book out  called God and Your Pillow to help strengthen others going through an unplanned pregnancy. It’s almost ready to get in the hands of those needing a soap-opera type story for encouragement. Let me pass onto you a page from my book. This part shares the fact that I kept a journal while growing up. There were seasons of silence occasionally in my journal. This writing shows it was the first time in over a year I got back into writing being it was a must to start up again. Read as my book explains why.

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Journal Time. Yep, it’s time to share more of my journal and what was going from my heart to the paper at this time in my pregnancy. I wish I hadn’t allowed there to be a huge gap between writings. You need to know that . . . oh, my journal will tell you. See if you can notice a few things I leave out.

Jan 2, 1987

How to even begin to explain the past year and a half? The best way to start is with the numero-uno step in my life, and that is being Born Again in Christ Jesus. Yes, I’m a new creature and will be rocking for Jesus for all eternity. September 10 of 1985 is when it happened. Now Eyde is no longer ‘religious’! She, Willma, and I are all sisters in Christ! Jesus is my life now, and not the things of this world.

Okay, let’s see. A lot has happened. April of ‘86 I drove down to Santa Maria and lived with Debbie for three months, worked at the Hilton Hotel in room service. On my return home I was faced with my niece’s tumor and seeing her die. She died in September. So sad. In the meantime, God showed me the direction my life was to take. He gave me a baby. As of this writing, I am seven-and-a-half months along in my pregnancy. Things are fine as long as Jesus is close by. If it wasn’t for His will for my life, I’d go crazy! I’m making it through just fine. Praise God!

. . .  Oh, and the space shuttle blew up since I last wrote. It’s been a very tough year.

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No way did I feel a need to get into detail about what took place in California. My book proves that I sure didn’t need any reminder. It was all behind me, and God must have wanted me to just focus on what was on the road ahead. I felt such a sense of support from all around me and, as past blog writings share, God kept letting me know He was right there.  (1*) (2*)   are a few. I encourage all who seem to cling to that negative past that keeps tapping on your back to, yes, learn from the past and correct what’s needed, with God’s help, but still remember that good ol’ saying – Today’s the first day of the rest of your life. 

 

Woman Suffering From Cold Sitting On Bed With Tissue

I must be honest, however. I was far from overflowing with peace and joy day-in and day-out. Even though I had less than normal physical un-comforts, my thoughts still kept it hard to fall asleep many nights. God and my own pillow were really the only ones who knew all my worries, concerns, and woe-is-me thoughts.

To be continued.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Five Minute Friday

Anniversary – Five Minute Friday

                  – Anniversary – Five Minute Friday – 

So here I am, thinking about what I could write from this weeks one special word: Anniversary.             

                                                  “Hmmmm. which one should I use?” 

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Do I focus on the 30th anniversary my hub and I had a little over a month ago? Of course that came to mind first being I still keep thinking how God spoiled me, bringing that man  into my life.

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Then an anniversary of a few other important things popped into mind.

The anniversary of bringing my first baby into my life. God used that day as the final frosting, only 6 hours labor from start to finish, after an incredible easy pregnancy. Then of course the three others that followed the next nine years. I love birthdays.

                                                           Photo taken 21 yrs ago

-Scan 18

Then thoughts flew to mind the beginning of a new type life that began December 20th of 1990. The day I got hit with Encephalitis – a brain affected illness – the day that began one major trial for me and many others.

Hospital patient with drip

 

I make that an anniversary being God, too, began that day holding me, proving to others He was in charge of that entire ordeal as well.

And how can I leave out tons of those little itsy-bitsy anniversaries. The day God had us spot Sammy at a dog pound, the best puppy made just for us. Or the day we moved into an obviously God given home we’ve now been in for 20 years. If I had more time, this  type anniversary list would go on and on but . . . 5 minutes is now almost up.

So I’ll end with one fact about all these anniversaries. Thinking of them all had me see God was the center piece of each one. That then had me realize the best anniversary for me out of them all was the day God let me know, 33 years ago . . . I was one of His.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

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Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 6)

 

             Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 6)

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“I love all the weight I’m gaining in this unplanned pregnancy I’m somehow enduring as a nineteen year old,” said no one ever. Or at least I for sure was not thinking that thirty years ago during the pregnancy I endured at that tender age. So why am I bringing that up now? To share one more way God showed He was helping me though that pregnancy.

After sharing why I was thankful for my doctor, (1*) I’ll say here how all my visits to her were going fine as my tummy was noticeability growing. As months had gone by, all had been going a heck of a lot better than I had expected.  But the visit during my seventh month with her caused my mouth to drop as she told me some unexpected news. Let my soon published book – God and Your Pillow – explain.

———-

A bit overweight, big sweatshirts were my normal attire. And, of course, we all know the weight gained during pregnancy isn’t such an enjoyable fact to accept. But out of the blue, after I got my routine weight checked, she said, “No real worry, but I must say you are not the weight you should be by now.”
“Oh, great. I need to watch my weight? I’m gaining too much?” I asked.
“No. Actually, you haven’t gained the amount of weight that is normal. You need to eat a bit more for that baby. Are you dieting at all?” she asked.
“No. I’m not eating tons of junk, but not dieting.”
“Well, just eat more good food. More than you have been,” she instructed. “From now on, each time you come in, I want to see a few more pounds than the normal gain you should be showing. Understand?”
Understand? With the biggest grin, I understood.

Subway-Turkey-Italiano-Melt-620x345On the way to each doctor’s visit from then on, I stopped and grabbed a good old foot-long Subway sandwich across the street from the doctor’s office. After all, I had to make sure I would show the most weight gain possible, right? Since I currently live in the same area, I still giggle inside every time I drive past that Subway.


 

I’ll never forget that talk. Now sure, many may not instantly feel like giving God credit for being told they need to eat more, but I couldn’t help it. I felt He wanted to take that extra weight off my back (pun intended) of feeling fat during those last few months. I was already a bit over weight when I first got pregnant, so that visit was one of many other ways I felt God used to keep me hanging onto Him during the entire pregnancy.

I encourage you to ask yourself if it’s hard to find any joy in anything. Try to think of, as soon as you can, anything that brings a smile to your face. Thank God for it! Let me encourage you not to delay thanking God when you find any simple unexpected joy-filled news. Or how about those little things you unexpectedly come in contact with – even if it’s just that simple Subway sandwich.

Ephesians 5:20 – giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

 

Can’t help but share one simple thing that would sure cause one huge  🙂  to show on my face today, as it did with what my doctor told me that day. To get new followers ! Follow me now to read more stories of how God carried me though this ordeal along with another savior trial I’ve gone through.  (3*) Thanks.

 

1* – Click here and read my last post about a perfect doctor.

2* – Click here for my first post about a another trial God carried me through
Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

 

 

 

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Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 5)

      Doctor blue round web icon. Circle isolated internet button for webdesign and smartphone applications.

These last posts I’ve shared how God showed me true Fatherly love once I discovered I was pregnant, trusting Him more as those first few months went by. (1*2*3*  4*)

The next time He showed that to me was my first visit to my new doctor. Yep, time I see an OB/GYN. But being this took place thirty yeas ago, unable to just jump on the internet to see a long list of doctors to choose from, I just followed who our family doctor suggested.

Driving up to that hospital still feels like last week. I can picture what that building looked like, where I parked, and how it all looked at I walked in. But most of all I remember how nervous I was. How much of my story do I tell? Will she just consider me as one of those teens that messed up? Will I like her? Will she like me?

Thankfully, as soon as I walked in I was impressed. It was spacious and well kept. I had an instant comfort in a place I was uncomfortable to be in, if that makes any sense. After filling out the paper work and waiting a few minutes at this one table, in walked the Obstetrician. I realized right then she was the first stranger I had to tell my story to. A total stranger told me I was pregnant a few months before (5*) but this is the first stranger I had to share why and how I got to know I was pregnant.

Do I tell her more than she asks? Do I act all nonchalant and come across all happy-go-lucky, casually hearing all the pregnancy facts she passes my way? For all I know, I might cause her to dread each time I’d need to come in for a check-up, let alone the day of giving birth.

Doctor and patient are discussing

Once meeting her, looking to be in her early thirties, I was relieved to tell she had a nice, warm, personality. After I simplified my story as to why I was pregnant, and after her giving a little pregnancy information, she began telling me a bit about her plan to serve as an OB/GYN in a third-world country.

‘Wow!’ I replied.

That then began us sharing bits and pieces of our faith, seeing that we were both Christians. Talk about instant peace! Talk about instantly thanking God, feeling again that He gave me just what I needed.

“But being I’m still here, Marianne,” she said, “I’m glad I’m now here to help you.” 

God knew it best I go through this soap opera pregnancy with a doctor who I’d have support-filled encouraging conversations with as months went by. From then on, each time I left that office, God heard me say the same six words: Thank you, Lord, for my Doctor.  Even today, that’s my first thought as I drive by that building.

1 Thessalonians 5:18  – Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Numbers 6:24-25  – The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. 

Philippians 4:6 – Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

Why these verses? Because they are a few of many that describe how God cares, and if you need comfort, He’s there. It was obvious He was gracious, letting me feel He was carrying me on that road I was on. This time, His tool that let me know He was right there was a total stranger.

To be continued.

click 1* 2*  3*  & 4* to read past posts on different occasions God showed He was with me during my pregnancy.

click here – 5* to read when I was told I was pregnant.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @mariannesmemoirs and read more on her blog, mariannesmemoirs.com.
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Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 4)

            Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 4)

 

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Have you ever gone though an extra tough time in your life while at the same time sensing a few extra nice things taking place as well? That’s what was happening to me years ago. I realized later that each situation was a peace of a puzzle God was slowing but perfectly putting together. He wanted me to see that each piece was formed by Him, made to fit picture perfect together. I’ve been sharing a few of those pieces with you lately, showing what had taken place during my unplanned pregnancy at the tender age of nineteen. ( 1*2* 3* )

Of course I could share week after week every piece by piece of that puzzle but, thankfully, it would take forever to finish. But I can’t help but share one or two more, knowing my soon to be published book, God and Your Pillow, will show the rest. 

I’ll use an excerpt from my book to show another piece of that puzzle.

One week now until Greg would fly up from California. One week left to pretend there was no huge change about to happen in my life. An entire week to enjoy me, myself, and I. No one I had to hang around with. No one I had to force myself to be comfortable around. Only me, my pillow, and, of course, this child I was carrying. God was so helpful even in that area. No morning sickness at all. Yep. I repeat, no morning sickness. Sure, an occasional slightly nauseous feeling, but nothing like I had been warned about. Well, maybe once. I’ll never forget the one—I repeat—one time I did throw up. It was late in the afternoon after eating a can of fruit I was craving. Peaches, to be exact.

Peaches

 

Obviously I didn’t crave them anymore after that—how shall I say it?—quaint time leaning over the sink, letting those peaches pop back out. Seeing canned peaches in stores now always brings back that memory.

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Shall I assume the words ‘NOT FARE’ are going through a majority of those who have experienced a pregnancy?  Finding anyone who only had one almost-morning sickness is hard to come by. I’m sure not complaining I was one of those few. That entire pregnancy was nothing close to what I was warned it could be like. I guess God just knew I couldn’t deal with everything like that while smack in the middle of a heart wrenching soap opera.

Next week’s story ties in with this weeks, showing how God used even food as a tool to show He was with me. Did you have any common unpleasant expectation you thought you’d have to endure that God spared you from? I’m curious what it is! Please oh please, share 🙂  

Next week you’ll  find out why only one certain Starbucks sign I occasionally see makes me giggle inside.

1*  –  2*   –  3*   – Click to read the other signs God showed He was holding me.

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, mariannesmemoirs.com.