My unplanned pregnancy at the tender age of nineteen was thirty years ago, but the blessings I noticed back then I still hold tight to my heart today. These last few writings I’ve shared older posts to show how God was right there with me. (1* – 2*) But this week I’m using a piece from my book titled God and Your Pillow, showing another obvious sign of His Fatherly love through that intense trial.
– God and Your Pillow –
Willma was the next one I had to tell.
“Sure you can come over,” Willma said after I called to see if we could get together. “It’s pretty much lunchtime, so I’ll start throwing a few sandwiches together.”
I pondered how to tell her as I walked down to her house, that last house on our dead-end street. I knew it was just her there, so when I came up to the door, I took a deep breath.
Okay, here I go. While knocking lightly, I slowly opened the front door.
“Hi, Willma. I’m here. Where are — ”
“Come on in. I’m back in the kitchen, right in the middle of making our lunch,” she said as I walked in. Willma was her normal, cheery self. I could tell she was ready to talk away. Out of all the things in the world to talk about, she started talking about, gulp, the future. Half joking but half serious, she said, “Hey Marianne, it’s time we think more about when you and I move out. Let’s figure out what college you or I’ll be going to. What if you go to the same one I already go to?”
“We can try to get the same dormitory. Heck, the same room! Or maybe I’ll work while you go there and we’ll split the rent. I know, how about —.”
As she was talking, so full of energy, my mind began filling to the brim with thoughts. You know how you can think of twenty different things in three seconds? Well, that’s what I was doing. Sad to think how she and I wouldn’t really be able to make many spur-of-the-moment plans, as we had been doing for years. I was angry at myself for letting this happen, and a bit scared as to what this could do to our friendship. So much was being tossed around in my mind.
“Willma.” It was obvious this was the time to tell her. “I have something I need to tell you. We can’t really do that stuff you’re talking about because . . . I’m . . . I’m pregnant.”
There, I did it. Now what? What will she say? What will she do?
She stopped what she was doing, frozen for two seconds, realizing I wasn’t kidding.
“Oh. Uh, I guess we’ll, um, have to alter our plans just a bit,” she said calmly, a numb look on her face as she walked by with sandwich makings in her hands. Her look, however, instantly started changing, showing her mind forming different thoughts. I knew she would be shocked, and sure, I figured her emotions would be zig-zagging in all different directions. Thankfully, though, as I shared the entire story with her, I could tell her thoughts were getting straight once again.
While eating that lunch, I heard my best friend tell me she’d be there and how God would not let go of me. Not really hearing those types of words from my family, hearing it from her was priceless.
The more we discussed the pros and cons of keeping or adoption, we both leaned toward me keeping the baby. No decisions whatsoever on what to do regarding money, the baby’s father, work, and other matters. Just on whether I should be the mother of this baby.
As I was walking out that same door I came in, I felt God had used my friend as a means for guidance and a means to give me strength. My name was changed once again on my walk home. Marianne A-Bit-More-Peace-To-Keep-Baby Houstoun
I am one who strongly believes God has given us the Bible as our supreme guide in matters theological and practical. However, I did realize back then He will use a certain person to guide us while at the same time showing us He cares.
I’d sure love to read your testimony of how God showed He was there for you, right by your side, during a trial in your life.
My published memoir shares my before, during and after unplanned pregnancy experience. Having already shared bit’s and pieces of that life changing soap opera, I now want to continue explaining how God knew I needed to sense He was there with me as time went on.
I can’t help but share how it was obvious God, my Heavenly Father, proved He was holding me, a nineteen year old, after admitting I had totally messed up.
In the midst of my unplanned pregnancy, I felt more of a need to cling to God. It was a must. My heart, soul, and mind would have overflowed with guilt if I did not feel His forgiveness.
As month after month being pregnant went by, He made sure I could tell that, as long as I included Him in this tough time, He was there – noticeably there – making it imposable for me not to thank Him many times. Peace began to form inside me as I soaked up the fact that God isn’t just my Lord and King, but my Father. It was impossible not to have ‘Thank you, God’ thoughts as I saw His hand here and there while my tummy grew.
As I showed recently, He showed me one obvious sign He was there. (1*) I’ve decided to share a few other things that were showing up that I was, slowly but surely, beginning to give God credit for. I’ll show a different one on each post for a while, being that they’re worth more than a few sentences to describe.
Of course I must start with the very first happening that I realized later on God planned. At the time it happened it was far from being listed in any ‘Thank you, God’ category. The following excerpt is from my book God and Your Pillow
As I continue my story, it’s time to share a piece directly from my book about my unplanned pregnancy which I dealt with when I was nineteen years old. The title is God and Your Pillow because those are the only two who really knew all of my heart, soul, and mind during this difficult time.
So one day there I was, Marianne, nineteen years old, recently had begun my new walk as a Christian with Christ right by my side as I was full of energy to face the world. The next day, however, I was that same nineteen-year-old who was now faced with an unplanned pregnancy, wanting to hide from the world.
Everyone has two 12 hour batches every single day. But what if everyone, for some crazy reason, for one day, could turn that 12 o’clock in the afternoon into a 13 o’clock? How would you spend one extra hour? But let’s say there was a rule that you could not use it on your normal stuff such as work, study, mommy-hood, Daddy-hood, chores, school, ‘laundry’.